Thoughts of a Youkai
by Jack of Antics
Summary: My revision of Thought's of a Youkai. PG for some swearing and some character deaths.If you want to know what it's about, read a/review! Thank you!


Disclaimer and A/N : My computer was so screwed up so I decided to revise/rewrite this story. Inuyasha is *so* not my property. All characters known to you are Rumiko Takahashi's creations not mine. However, Kaori and Hayato Koorikawa as well as the Tatsurei and other unknown stuff are my ideas. Remember: Kaori is not a Mary Sue. She is a original character-the complete opposite of those frickin' Mary Sue/Self Inserts. Yes, I do like Sesshoumaru-sama, but that's not the reason why Kaori's here. Sesshie might see OOC because I think there is another side of him we (as fans of Inuyasha manga/anime) never see. Anyway enjoy! 

Thoughts of a Youkai

_~~~~~Sesshoumaru POV~~~~_

Kaori...that stupid hanyo bitch. I do not see why she seems to be in my head frequently. I know she is very acid-tongued at me recently because of her brother, Hayato's death. I had no other choice really. That spineless wolf hanyo requested me to assist him in his Harakiri. (A/N: Harakiri is the formal way of sucide.) Chichi-ue wanted me to train them when they would go into battle. Chichi-ue...Did you wanted me to make Kaori my mate? Someone who would be at your side through thick and thin? You are wrong. Kaori will never be my mate. Never... Wait, did Kaori once considered being my mate? My past is somewhat of a blur.... 

_~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~_

Inuyasha and Kaori were younger. I mean a lot younger. Hayato and I were the same age and Kaori was the youngest of us. She was born one month after Inuyasha which was a decade ago. I had already became a fast friend of Hayato and he confided all of his secrets to me. One afternoon, Kaori was teasing Inuyasha (as usual) when a little bird fell from its nest. Kaori quickly climbed up the maple tree without a care, with the little bird in her delicate claws. 

"Kaori-chan!" the little Inuyasha called out. "Get down from here! That branch doesn't look safe! 'Touchan and Hayato won't like it when they hear you're climbing a tree!" 

"Don't worry Inu-kun!" She called out. (A/N: She tends to tease people with the stupid nicknames she made up.) "I'll come down as soon as I place this little one back where he belongs!" She gently placed the little bird in the small nest and gave a long sigh of relief. A very wrong time to be careless. The branch that supported her broke and she tumbled down at a fast speed. At this moment, Hayato and I were passing by chatting. Perfect timing... 

"KAORI-CHAN~!" I looked up to see a wolf hanyo falling towards me. I swiftly moved closer and pushed Hayato towards the side.   
***THUD*** A huge cloud appeared. Hayato and Inuyasha coughed and choked on the high dust. 

"I-Itai!" She said clutching her white wolf tail-unaware of who broke most of her fall. "Damnit! I nearly broke my tail!" 

"But you nearly broke this Sesshoumaru!" I spat back defensivly at the girl on top of me. (a/n: Itai means "ouch". In the manga, Sesshoumaru usually says, "Kono Sesshoumaru." Kono means "this". Some people say it should mean "I, Sesshoumaru." But after reading Catwho's work, I decided to use "This Sesshoumaru." Arigatou!) She looked down and finally noticed me and her ears and face were red. She nearly jumped twenty feet in the air. "Se, Sesshoumaru-sama?!?! I am so sorry! I can explain-" 

"Kaori!" Hayato yelled, "WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS WERE YOU DOING IN A TREE?! IF SESSHOUMARU-SAMA WAS NOT HERE THEN-" 

"But I was here Hayato and nothing else matters." I stood up and dusted myself off. 

"What's going on here?" All four of us spun and saw Tatsunosuke (Kaori's Chichi-ue) and Inunosuke (my Chichi-ue). "What is with this commotion?" Chichi-ue asked. 

Kaori said, "Inunosuke-sama," she bowed, "Inuyasha-kun and I were playing when a little bird fell from its nest. I went up that tree to put it back. I was unaware of the branch braking underneath me. Then Sesshoumaru-sama and Onii-sama came and Sesshoumaru-sama broke my fall. Although my tail is still broken... Please forgive Inunosuke-sama. Please forgive me, Chichiue!" 

"Well my friend," Inunosuke laughed, "She should be forgiven. After all it was all an accident and accidents happen." 

"Very well." Tatsunosuke replied, "And _Kaori_, I suggest you shouldn't be reckless. Even in these walls, danger lurks. Anyway your tail should heal very quickly." She bowed and the two exited. 

_~~~End of Flashback~~~~~_

I looked at Kaori. Her jet black hair tied in a ponytail style like a miko's, dressed in a short white yukata lined with a red obi, and her golden eyes that are close to mine seem to make her stand out of the other females. Kaori...the scent or fragence. 

The bitches in the castle back then were divided into catagories. Human and lower youkai. Only Kaori was the only wolf hanyo. Actually, she was the only hybrid female in the entire castle. A female half-demon. Half *human* and half demon. Her human blood makes her weak and I hate those are weak...But would I ever accept that fact if I was to mate with that hanyo? Kaori's scent has lured me more and more and I will never stop until that scent is out of my body. 

_~~~Kaori's POV~~~~~_

Sesshoumaru? That bastard? Me liking him?! What in the seven hells made me fall for him? Yes, I admit I *once* loved him but that was forty-nine years ago. After Hayato died. My brother. My friend. My family. Now I, Kaori, am the last one of my family line. Now I have to be a mate if my family's blood should thrive. But now, if I was to mate who would it be? Inuyasha-kun has Kagome-chan (with a little trouble with that zombie bitch Kikyou.) Miroku-sama has Sango-chan (although she won't admit the truth.) Me, I am alone I am destined to be alone. My journeys and adventure have been on an edge of a knife because of myself. 

Hayato before he died believe that he was the blame for our family's death. No, he did not have to die for my protection. I should have been the one killed not him. If it wasn't for that battle... 

_~~~Kaori's Flashback~~~~_

It was the battle that started it all. I had just recieved a new sword/pikestaff Hayato asked Toutousai to forge from his fang. He named it the Tatsurei. The Dragon Soul. It did not recieve much power. Compared to the Tetsusaiga, Tatsurei had only a fourth of its power. I didn't care. As long as it was worthy as a weapon, I was content. 

Battles raged on. Inunosuke-sama and Chichi-ue were secrectly conversing with each other with battle tatic plans occasionaly. I stayed by Sesshoumaru most of the time and he didn't mind at all. Most likely did Inunosuke-sama, Chichi-ue and Hayato knew our hidden thoughts and seem...pleased with the fact. But this battle was different. Very different. 

Our spies recovered information on the other side. They were planning on using onitaka, the demonic hawks. The news worried Chichi-ue and Inunosuke-sama. Many youkais as well as humans died because of their nature. They were once bred to fight battles but now beginning to gain more power by eating the flesh of their enemies and were harder to control. And it was them they destroyed my life as I knew it. 

The sun rose in a bloody red shade the next morning. We have already slaughtered half of the enemy's troops. We were on a cutting edge. The Tatsurei seemed happy in battle and its power was its sign. But that was when everything went wrong. 

Echoes of sharp hawk cries surrounded the battle field. Many of us had been bracing ourselves for this moment. The sky turned jet black under the nine hawks' wings. 

"Let them come." Sesshoumaru said, "We shall show them the true powers of the demons of the west." I just stared at his feature. Over the years of training and battles and all other sorts of stuff, I saw him become a proud and fearless heir of the demon of the western lands. But I only nodded a strong "yes." 

The three of us, Sesshoumaru, Hayato and I were sucessful as well as the others in killing most of the other onitaka. But there was one left. The Tatsurei was cleched in my hand. The fang blade, shorter than the Tetsusaiga, gleemed with dark blood. _This one is mine! I shall kill it with my own sword._ That's when it came. As soon as I was going to cut the gigantic hawk's head off, it leaped like a deer and dodged it. Like a cat pouching on a poor mouse, it caught me, sinking its foul talons deep into my back. I yelped out in pain and saw two blury figures running towards the hawk on top of me. And I remembered no more. 

I was aroused the next day. My forehead and chest were bound in gaze. I was back in my room in the castle. Sesshoumaru was waiting there next to me. "What happened?" 

"You were attacked by the last Onitaka. But Hayato and Tatsunosuke slayed it before it even tried to eat you. But we won none of the less." 

"Are Chichiue and Hayato alright?" 

"Hayato is fine but your Chichiue..." 

My eyes went wide as I heard the news. I grabbed my kimono top tied the obi to secure and dashed out of the room. 

"Kaori!" he called out but I didn't heed his call. Suddenly I smelt smoke. And of a Chichiue. I ran outside. There they were. My Haha-ue, Natsuko; Hayato, and Inunosuke. They just looked at me. Haha-ue was filled with tears while the others were silent.   
"What is going on? Where is Chichi-ue?" 

"He is gone Kaori." Inunosuke replied. Pain and sadness swept over me. 

"No!" I choked. "No it can't be!!" 

"He died trying to save you." Hayato muttered. "When the onitaka was about to take your head, Chichi-ue desperately tried to kill the damn bird. He sacrificed himself for you." I crumbled at his words. I was swept with more sadness. This pain...was too much of a burden for me. I muttered those words over and over. I loved my Chichiue too much. Ok, sure he was against me being trained in sword and demon fighting. But I didn't listen. "Kaori," he would always say, "your recklessness will get you into trouble one of these days." 

A year later, Hahaue got sick and was still mourning. Hayato became the man of the family and became a greater friend of both Inunosuke-sama and Sesshoumaru. It was that one spring day I will never forget. Hahaue was bedridden and I was constanly at her side. 

She was human and I accepted that fact. I was more fond of the human females than the youkai. Appereance wise, youkais get a point. But it's the human's spiritual strength I found interesting. Youkai bitches are strong physically but are weak in the mind. Human's endurance amaze me. 

As I placed a cold wet towel on her forehead, she would tell me about Chichiue, their cherished moments, and her secrets. And I can still recall the last moments with her. 

"Kaori..."she rasped out. 

"What is it Hahaue?" 

She let out a cough, "I can feel my soul being drained from me." 

"Hahaue-you mustn't pass on! I still need you!!" 

"You have Hayato, Kaori. *cough cough* I want you have a worthy husband. I want you to marry..." 

"Who, Hahaue? Who?" 

"...Sesshoumaru-sama..." 

"_Sesshoumaru-sama?!?!?_" 

"Yes..." 

"Why?" 

"*cough*I could tell you love him in your heart...Besides, Inunosuke-sama knows about Sesshoumaru-sama as well. " 

I fell silent. How did she know? I mean...could she read my heart, really? "There is no need in hiding it. Your heart is begging for his. _Don't take your heart so lightly....._" Then, her eyes closed forever. 

"Hahaue!! Please don't leave me! Please stay here! I can't live this world with out you and Chichiue, please!!" I clenched the cold hand of hahaue tight, calling out her name. 

_~~~End of Flashback~~~~_

That settled it.. Chichiue and Hahaue were dead. Three years later, Hayato commited Harakiri and left me this damn spot where I am now. But Hahaue's words still ring in my ears if it was just yesterday she died._Don't take your heart so lightly....._What did she mean? I wish she should have told me more of that. I don't exactly understand. Wait...maybe I do remember it. Humans' endurance was always a key point for me. I am a hanyou. Half demon and half human. Maybe my heart wants to escape and tell me what it truely desires. Is it Sesshoumaru or something else? That, I do not know. Sesshoumaru...very strange name. The first character would mean die or kill. The second would mean live and the last character would be a way of saying it's a male's name. Hm...the killng/living. What a very strange name for a taiyoukai. By never the less, why should I be concered about him. He's just a bastard. A plain bastard that came in at the wrong time. 

Owari! Ahhhh. It felt so good to go back and revise this story. While reviewing, plz tell me if I should combine this with my Scars of Emotions and Time. I think I should but I'll leave it up to you. Arigato! 

Terms and Other A/N: 

Chichiue: Formal way of saying Father for more respect. 

Hahaue: A lot like Chichiue, but it's for Mother. 

Youkai: A demon. Higher than the oni I think. Taiyoukais are higher youkais with ammense power. 

Hanyou: A half demon. 

Inu-kun: Inu means dog. kun is used for a informal title to a boy. 

About Kaori: Kaori's name means "fragence". Her father is a youkai and her mother is a human. She was trained in sword fighting against her parent's words. And remember, I created her, so no stealing. Ask me for permission to use her. 

About the Tatsurei: I decided the Tatsurei was something like a sword but also like a pikestaff. The hilt is longer but but the blade is a third of the entire length of the Tatsurei. If you take karate, it's like a Kai-bo, a stick like weapon with a wooden blade at the end. One side is smooth while the other is like a sword's blade.*reader looks confused* Uhh..scratch that A/N if you didn't understand. 

About the last paragraph: Yes, I actually put my own opinon inside that. That part about Sesshoumaru's name is kinda true. You might want to check some translators if I'm wrong. 

Well, that's it for me. Thanks for reading and no flames, they're just cruel. jaa mata! I'm off to stalk Legolas from LotR!   
^_^''''v 


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